You Cannot Be Fighting This Reality And Know The Truth Of Yourself.

A visit with Carmen.

Part one:

Carmen: I want to get this depression out of me, I want to get lots of peace here.

I understand.

Carmen: you know that I am ready to cry, you can see that. 

Sure.

Carmen: I want to heal my heart, heal my body, heal my mind, so I can start working and generating money. I cant live like this. So I want to work really hard with this. I want to do a very strong meditation. This week has been very strong for me, because this guy that I have been in love with; I want to get him out of my mind, because it has been 4 years since we broke up but we keep talking about getting back together and I want to get out of that; no more codependence. I have so much fear.

The tea ceremony is about each movement being a movement in consciousness. Its about being present in this moment…

Carmen: thats what I want.

Match me, there… be comfortable in knowing. You’re in a state of unknowing right now, confusion, frustration, anger, grief and fear. Bring it all into the heart of yourself: where you love yourself absolutely and surrender to that love that you are, that you have, that you exist as eternally. Know that your circumstances are what they are, but if you know eternity at the same time: all of “this” will come into harmony and you will be aware enough to know where you are welcomed here, where you are supported and loved here. So, the part of you that is traumatized right now listen: surrender means to allow for a wondrous solution to come to you from a place of pure love and since you are not experiencing that as your experience of self right now: you are in a state of confusion about who you are, thats all. 

You think you are a woman who is in love with a man who is an insensitive brute. Oh my, OK, no wonder you came over tonight, because: do you really want to get into something like that? You know what it means to share a life with another, you know what happens to your consciousness, you know what happens to your sense of self when you go into resonance with a determined lower consciousness that “just knows that it is right in its wrongness,” let that go man. Your clarity is the only thing that is important here, OK? Screw everything else, let it go. 

You want to be free of it? Be free of it. The only reason that you’re traumatized over this is you don’t know for sure wether your going to actually let it go. If you had let it go in your mind for good already, it wouldn’t bother you at all, because you know it is not the right thing for you to be with that man. Thank God he was at least aware enough to send you that insensitive email, because where could your life have gone off in a direction with him that is less than healing, fulfilling and worthy of that sense of wonder and excitement that you have because you know the possibilities that life has for you? No those possibilities are not where you are right now, but that doesn’t mean that where you are right now can’t open to the light of enlightened presence for yourself. Just because you are where you are, doesn’t mean that you can’t be where you want to be. 

So first, allow yourself to receive the love of the divine and feel that flow into you and allow me to feel loves expression through you. That expression of divine unconditional love flowing into you and from you to me in such a way that it heals me, heals my traumas, heals my problems, heals my confusions: heals me, restores me and redeems me from the odd life that I am in that is mostly one silly thing after another. So it is not our circumstances that we need to worry about today being changed, its this: are you willing to be present here as truth? Let me feel that from you. Let me feel the presence of eternal truth, as you. Heal me with the presence of your eternal truth: let me know what it is to know God, through you. There... let me know God as you. 

Let go of these identifications with the life circumstances of this body as the defining identity of you. Let go of that, surrender to knowing your own divine eternal truth. Not just knowing it, but realizing it: “making it real here.” Allow your divine truth to be real, here. Allow divinity to be manifest as you, as you. Thats what I need from you, I need someone who is aware here, someone willing to self-realize divine truth. And I know that thats “impossible” of course. 

Carmen: what is impossible? 

For you to realize divine truth, or… or, is it impossible? Its not impossible? 

Carmen: no.

Well, feel the truth of that statement of yours that its not impossible for you to realize your divine truth. Just feel how the truth of that frees you from the mental insanity that your going through as a result of your circumstances and your circumstances are simply the “sum result of your life’s choices.” So your circumstances are OK, its OK for you to be in them right now the way that you are and as soon as as you realize that: you can realize that its also OK for them to change, but not until.

You have to quit fighting reality before you can go into harmony with it! Come on, any of your enlightened sages say that? You have to go into harmony with life as it is before you can fully awaken yourself here and know the truth of eternity. 

You Cannot Be Fighting This Reality And Know The Truth Of Yourself. 

You don’t have to figure out how to do that, you don’t have to figure out the repercussions of that, all you have to do… (only a small percentage of this is intellectually for you later, OK?) the point is, I want you to make a choice, a whole series of choices and I want them to not be done the way you normally make choices: the choices that you make tonight, I want you to realize the end of them as you make them. When you make a choice: allow its full, instantaneous and immediate realization of it within yourself. If you don’t do that, could you possibly know what it is to be divine? So choose what your wishes are for yourself in awareness and consciousness, in presence and knowing and truth and allow yourself to have that wish fulfilled right now.

OK, so tell me one: one wish that you have for yourself that will be a blessing to everyone around you. Just give me one aspect of what it is that you are looking for. 

Carmen: I want to change the habits that I have.

No, you want to be…

Carmen: love.

OK, be love. Relax and don’t fidget for a minute. If you need to do something with your hands: hold your tea like “this” its really nice. Feel that warmth of a hot cup of tea in your hands. Be present with me as you realize your choice of love, of experiencing yourself as love. Don’t shut down that choice as soon as you make it. Allow that choice to force you into an awakening, a realization, an understanding, an enlightened presence: ask and receive! Don’t just ask, receive, receive, receive, receive Gods love for you right now and allow Gods love for you to awaken you. End part one.