You have to be willing to be directed by divinity if you wish to be divine.

My experiences are similar to yours, Some wonderful success in meditation and a letdown in frequency when I go into action. I'm looking forward to the time when I am "fully cooked" . In the meantime, I comfort myself that I have a connection to divinity whenever I focus on it.

My tension, stems from my resistances of things that I do not like and my process for releasing it and being in the flow in life seems to evolve from day to day and when it is working, always includes choosing to embrace all energies, while holding my aspect of divine oneness as my choice of being.

Enlightenment, ascension, higher consciousness and divine beingness are states that already exist as the truth of who we are. When we try to become them they are forever elusive. When we shed our false selves through absolute surrender to divinity our divine nature is revealed to us.

I guess my next question in meditation will be regarding how to surrender while in motion. What I have learned so far (though with little practice) is to move slowly and don't move unless God is moving you. You just stand there and wait. It’s like learning how to walk for the first time, dozens of attempts with ever increasing success. It seems like I have answered my question myself as I already knew the answer and had forgotten, as I have been too lazy to do it.

You have to be willing to be directed by divinity if you wish to be divine. There is no other source. Once you make your choice, treat it like you are learning a new language or skill. First learn to hear the voice of God, second learn to allow God to move your body as an exercise in teaching the body to move divinely. That should result in the embodiment of your divine consciousness. I’ll keep you posted.

Immanuall