David: Let me tell you an experience that you should have with your spouse and I would devote 2 hours straight to this; its a game thats never been played before and that is; absolute allowance and validation of the other. Here are the rules of engagement for that; if I am talking and you open your mouth to say anything, as soon as I perceive that you have a desire to say anything: I shut my mouth wait for you to say it and when something builds up in me and I’ve got to speak: I do and you shut your mouth and let me say it.
This is the key to the ease of the transition into the divine realms. For you to be able to say anything that you want to say, in the instant that you want to say it, is my gift to you. Heres the point and what neither one of you realizes about your interactions: you are both right.
Until you cut the other person off, the one who is being allowed to speak by the other one is being given the grace of the attention of the other and part of that grace requires a reciprocal flow of that allowance. So it doesn’t matter if you are in mid sentence, mid word, mid thought, second by second: if you are talking and the other person wants to interrupt, you stop and you drop everything that you were communicating.
The other has a lot in him that he has to communicate and what ever it is that needs to be expressed in order for him to be freely expressed here, that communication has to come out of him and because of how we each suppress each other in our interactions in life, we don’t trust anybody. Not even our own wive’s, not even our own kids, certainly not our parents. So, how does one find their way here with another? It is only with the person that is speaking, always stopping speaking if the other person wants to say something. If you immediately feel the need to respond again after you were interrupted, go ahead, you don’t restrain yourself, ever! But, you always respect the others communication, so you drop yours immediately and let them speak when they start and as soon as you need to hit that ass hole over the head again with your communication: you do and that ass hole has to let you. Now when he can’t stand it himself, he hits you back and you let him.
John: what if both people keep interrupting each other?
Then there is no communication.
John: it just stops.
Because there can then only be silence then, because if you will silence your brother as he begins the first syllable of a word and he does the same to you, then the only thing that you can do to improve the situation, is to share silence, until words can be spoken in respect.
John: but if we are in that kind of a context, would that kind of thing be possible? Could we actually, both enroll?
If your not willing to do that to the person that you have committed to spending the rest of your life with, then how much have you really committed to love anyone, even yourself? Because the love of another, is in knowing and validating the other person exactly as they are: exactly as they are, without your changing them in one iota in any way. You love them as they are and the experience of unconditional love, of a love that loves you, as you are, is a transformative experience that heals your soul from that which has diminished your experience of self from the divine truth of self, into the realms of incompetence, anger, vengeance and a need to explain to somebody else that they haven’t got it quite right.
John: tell me that again.
The first step is when you are in your gratitude that this woman was willing to say yes to spending the rest of her life with your, when you are in that gratitude say; sweetie, lets do that little communication drill right now, because I would love to enhance my existing love for you.
John: she is pissed though, she has got some information about what an ass hole I really am and that information is burning a hole in her heart.
Then let her express it.
John: I understand that, but what I am saying is; in that expression, lets say suddenly I develop a large amount of information about what an ass hole she is. In theory how would we negotiate that?
As soon as she responds to your communication of her “asshole ness,” as soon as the other person begins their response in anger and un-enlightenment; you shut up and at some point, one of you…
John: I think I get it, I think I get it, what your saying is; if she has a big agenda for me right now, allright?
Of course she does.
John: I jump in and say, great lets go. Now that maybe brings up a lot of things for me.
Yes!
John: and I go on and she shuts up. That would be really be fun.
To the greatest degree that you are able to allow that in yourself, if you are able to be self reflective and say; OK, as the ground rules for this, I am going to remind myself that I am going to feel compelled to be an asshole in this conversation.
Narelle: we’ve done a similar thing dave, where he says I have something that I wan’t to share and I don’t go crazy on him.
John: she never does, she’s a lady.
Narelle: what I have experienced from him is, I will actually ask him permission if there is something that I want to give feedback on if I notice that he has done something in a workshop or whatever and initially he will be; sure go ahead, but one minute into it, if it is something that he is feeling that I am saying he is being an asshole, where he goes with it in his mind; it is to immediately “cut me off and come back with defense” and I have felt sometimes like a Stepford Wife.
Yes.
Narelle: So then I just need to just be quiet until he says what he has to say.
Let him get it off his chest, let him get it off his chest until you have to take responsibility for yourself…
Narelle: and I’m doing pretty good…
Don’t ask him if he is done, because he won’t be done.
Narelle: thats the thing, its goes on.
Ask him for this: to be in his grace and truth and to allow you to communicate when you feel compelled and if you only get a few words out before he has to come back again, let him, because maybe you can let him go for 60 seconds before you need to interrupt for your 10 seconds before he interrupts you again. If you can be enlightened enough to allow there to be an unequal amount of communication, if your willing to give him the floor 80% of the time and he then allows you your 20%, then you can relax.
John: HAHAHAHa.
Narelle: most women would be like; wait a minute, I have lost all of this control and I’m the doormat that can only speak for 2 minutes and I have to listen to him for 2 hours, but I am buying into that to choose to be like you know what? Its OK, this is his experience and I am going to choose peace, I am going to choose to give peace because I can choose to give this as a gift, or at any time I can say;
Be in the moment, don’t have an agenda for this and don’t restrain yourself to be a good Stepford wife.
John: I want you to keep talking about what you are talking about, I love this concept about this communication thing, you call it “the game.” This is a whole new arena, I have never heard anything like this.
Its never been detailed before.
John: its unbelievable.
Narelle: I don’t have to say anything to defend myself.
John: but if I want to,
You don’t restrict yourself in any way, except if your the one talking, it is your obligation to shut up if the other person starts talking.
John: there is something very fascinating about it.
And so, say your piece until he cuts you off and then he says his piece and the only time frame that he has to continue speaking in, is until you cut him off. He doesn’t know if he has a tenth of a second or 10 hours because you are validating yourself in your every communication and your validating the other in allowing them theirs, yes you have the power, both of you have the power, both of you have the power and both of you are granting each other the power.
Narelle: when I start to speak, you in that moment like Dave said, even though there is more that I wanted to say, I am going to stop right now and I will listen to my sweetheart and then..
When he becomes your asshole partner, you express it, now at some point you are going to get your angst fully out and expressed with each other and then you’re going to stop interrupting each other with desperation and begin to interrupt with light, laughter, consciousness, jokes and the celebration of life instead.
John: this takes it to a whole new level. This would be like the next currently unseen level.
Narelle: it would be something that I have wanted, because I have still at time felt that there is control at times from John.
Of course there is, but now: he who has the floor has it only until the other person takes it away from them and it can be switched every second.
Narelle: but at least you are choosing for that second to get out of the way.
John: so if I could identify my personal goal in that kind of a moment, it would be two fold; one, I am going to say what ever it is I want to say, as long as I am being somewhat respectful about it and authentic.
Just express your authentic feelings in every moment.
John: I will do my best too, number two would be just as strong as that goal is when I feel my sweetheart coming in with her authentic expression, I’m going to shut up and let her go. Its the most paradoxical thing I have ever heard.
Its not when you just feel something, its when you hear an: uh, the very beginning of a vocal utterance or even just the furrowing of her eyebrows and you can say; oh, do you have something you would like to say on that?
I would love to experiment with this when I am pissed off.
You know why you can’t? Because as soon as you get this, you won’t be able to be pissed off.
John: you’re blowing my mind, I’m loving this.
Narelle: we won’t choose to go there anymore, because it is always a gift that you are giving.
John: David, you and I have to do this right now, because we have got enough angst between us on our different philosophical stances.
OK
John: do you ever have breakthroughs over and over again, the same break through?
Of course, it’s called the “breaking in process.”
John: lets now take them to another place.
By example: If somebody see’s you respect another person to the degree that it is a transformative experience to just observe how somebody can change somebody else by giving them unconditional allowance to express themselves in anyway that they choose in the moment and love it, love what that is.
John: that would be more powerful than a thousand words. More powerful than 3 days of words. When somebody else wants to say something…
Guess what? You allow them.
John: Just like that?
Just like that.
John: I was saying, “the minute someone wants to say something and you said guess what? And, I stopped.
Yes, you did it perfectly. You already got it.
John: Have you ever done that with anybody?
With you, right now.
John: Thats it? This could be one of the greatest breakthrough’s in history and it just started here?
It changes the world, from here. Now of course that statement could be perceived as a very presumptuous and Egoic “I am something and nobody else is,”
John: but I allow it.
But, it might be true.
John: this is really exciting.
Transformative, because you don’t have to wait to interrupt them, you have permission to interrupt them anytime that you feel compelled to, so you are completely free in your own expression of yourself.
John: but the big, big, super nova thing for me is; I can’t tell you what it felt like for me just now, when you interrupted me twice and I stopped.
Yes!
John: That for me is the big deal.
Yes!
John: I can talk off of my rocker for the rest of my life, what it feels like to stop.
And give respect to the other.
John: what a gift.
Narelle: without being in your rightness of; “you just interrupted me.”
You can say that! And that is part of the fu…..g game.
Narelle: now I am giving you permission, go ahead.
Interruption is good! It means that you have something to say and so I just shut up and I can speak again: whenever I wan’t to. I just have to shut up as soon as you start communicating, but if I have a few more words I want to say: I can hit you back with those as soon as I feel like it after you have started.
John: I haven’t quiet made sense of this, it is coming and it is so close. I think what it is is this; the game becomes an immense possibility when its played in the context of two people trusting the balance that could unfold in that game. In other words; I know who you are.
Yes.
John and I know you know who I am and so we know really the objective of the game is allowance, balance, union, peace, we got that and so if that is the case; I can let him interrupt me at any time and we are still going to end up at the objective.
Of course.
John: I think that’s what it requires: its the context of it. Wow.
David and when you get good at it: you don’t even have to tell someone else that you are doing it.
John: for sure thats just the way that you do it.
It’s who you become.
John: thats just me and there is a very distinct...
Yes,
John: I stopped, did you hear that?
Yes, it’s like your already a master.
John: it’s so fun, you started to interrupt me and its so fun I just stopped. Ha, ha. Dave, you have invented one of the best rides possible!
I know.
John: back to my feedback: the reason that I share that with you, is because, you know how you have this great desire to have somebody experience what you have experienced?
Of course.
John: It’s such a wonderful desire, I so relate to it, because I have the exact same desire for you.
Ahh. What would I experience as a wonderful thing that you know?
John: it’s the exact, same feeling that your feeling towards me: there’s no way you can say it, you have to go there.
Yes, OK well done.
John: now when I am with you and I am in deep in the “Dave world of water” its all beautiful and when I am running in grass and I love that grass. Its all just different substances.
I get it, their different.
John: the point being: I have a hope for you, just like you have a hope for me.
You think that the water doesn’t know the sky that touches it in every moment?
John: pretty much, yes.
OK, I got you, I get that you think that I don’t get it. I’ve received that communication.
John: and I’m really excited that your allowing me to have that experience and here’s whats better: I’m allowing you to have that experience of allowing me to have that experience. Ha ha.
It’s wonderful.
John: and truly that is a very high realm, not the highest, but it is a very high realm. It’s the beginning of something.
It’s step two on the stairway to heaven.
John: OK, having said all of that, now I would just love to have you go off. Do you still have your recorder on?
Yes.
John: I wouldn’t mind handing you the ball for a bit. Having said all that: Ladies and Gentlemen, we welcome one of my closest brothers. For those of you tuning in this late in the program, understand that this is a very special child of God and he has a lot to receive.
I am truly nothing special at all, there is nothing unique about me or anyone that is not the same for all.
John: Oh yea? Except for your willingness to receive. I’m done, thats it.
Well, then what we’re going to do is walk in silence, until I feel compelled to say something…
It is nice that you are willing to do this with me, I appreciate it because when your willing to look for the transcendent in another and to say: God bless this man that God may move him in such a way, that the words that come out of him are the words that God himself would say. Who can you get, that “gift” from, right? Who can you get that gift from? I treasure that gift, thank you, because it inspires me to look for where my freedom is found in this reality. Where am I open to being one with Christ? Where am I open to that? Where is there a possibility for that in this moment? Well, guess what? There is a place and you open and you allow for it to move through you just like a virus, you allow for it to spread through you. So thats the game that you play with God on this level: i’m open, i’m ready, i’m willing. I’m willing to be that which is open to receiving the knowing of what it is to know God and to have God know me in such an intimate way, that I myself know God equally well.
It’s a tall order, but if thats not your goal, if you don’t shoot for that target of the possible, but seemingly impossible, the possibility that has been foretold by every holy man who ever lived. If your not shooting for that for yourself, then what is the likelihood of your being that in somebody else’s experience of you here? Not your own experience, but somebody else’s experience of you, as the transcendent light of God himself? Because why should Gods light be limited in any way? Is not every structure of reality, structured in such a way, to be a welcoming home for the divine being the consciousness of it? Isn’t that what heaven on earth will be: where heaven is the reality that we share with each other? And what’s the level of consciousness there? It’s the consciousness of the divine for each one being divinely home, divinely free and divinely expressed in our communication with each other.
Now you take the floor for a moment and speak what you wish to speak.
John: I feel just such a sweet spirit, where heavenly father is walking with us. Because when there is allowance and respect, there is God.
Yes.
John: regardless of our come from and our dogmas, he doesn’t care.
No, he doesn’t
John: he only cares of our allowance.
Yes, yes.
John: so it is very sweet.
You don’t find freedom in chains, bounds, rules and regulations. It’s in allowance, the unconditional allowance in allowing the other to speak until that which is in you, is emerging like the Phoenix out of the ashes. But, it has to go from a transitional phase of expressing confusion and you allow it too, both for yourself and the other. You don’t invalidate yourself at any point, you allow it to be expressed and your enlightened enough to recognize what we are talking about and to say: Hey, I can communicate that concept and I can live that in my life and I know that thats going to enhance my life in such a totally awesome way, that my life is going to be one that people are jealous of. Not to gratify my ego, but in the knowing that I can be here as the man that it is possible for me to be here. That, “that” is a blessing to myself and is a blessing to everyone else that I come into contact with.
There is nothing that you can look at, that your welcoming of your experiencing of it, that you can’t experience God there. Everyone does the best that they can and everybody despite their experiences is becoming more and more. Even when it is seemingly destructive, even when it is done in the worst possible circumstances and ways, there is an expansion and progression of consciousness.
Now here is another level on the communication drill: if somebody is having an experience through “their filters” even though through your filters, you know that they are completely wrong and full of it: it is incumbent upon you to check and see if they are right! Because if you are in resistance to those words whatsoever, your deserving of the judgement in those words and if you are in allowance to what is spoken: all the words of unconsciousness and polarity will go through you like a cloud moving through the sky and the person speaking them upon finding no resistance from you in their speaking of them, expands out their own awareness and understanding into the allowance of the divine flowing through them as them and they reawaken to the realization of their own eternal truth without the need for another to correct them in their mistakes along the way.
John: Oh my goodness, ha, ha. Can’t you say it again?
No, I can say something else though. I was appreciating my noticing your conscious recognition of a higher consciousness gift, that I was giving you and so for me to see that you both received it, realized it, recognized it and fed it back to me: that makes my day, because while I am not in judgement of this reality, I recognize it for where it is and what it is, what its potential is and its potential is transcendent. It’s perfectly “this” but its potential is magnificent!
John: thats really beautiful.
It’s potential is not just magnificent: it’s potential is a living miracle for every one of us and so to have somebody know and realize that theres hope in our being able to open into living our lives as that experience here: wow, that is something else, because your not just talking about it like all of those phony guys who write those books, oh my God no, your experiencing it! And experiencing it a level of communication where its not conceptual or intellectual, its: Oh my God! “I just had a realization, something just shifted in me and I’m more awake and aware.” “More present and more loving than I was before and thank you, and thank you God and thats why we’re friends:
To be there for each other.
To be holding that space where we “know.” That the person that you walk around as every day as is just an act, a pretense, a human doing human things, but we’re here to share a secret with each other once in a while and that is: the experience of what can be for this reality, with each other, in reverence, in awe, and then in celebration of the divine potentialities of this reality and how we can be open into that divine awareness “sparking into existence” in this reality and the transformation who we have been into who we can be divinely: who it begins with, what it begins with, none of that matters, because there is no credit or special recognition needed for what initiated a shared experience of a divine state of consciousness.
It’s just the wonder that it happened at all and at the point that it happens and it is a shared experience. Who are you being reverent to and appreciative of? Everyone and everything, because you are now not trying to be something that you are not. You realize that you already are and always have been a divine consciousness that is choosing to awaken itself as the knowing of self as that, while embodied and thats the bravest journey that a man can embark on, because there’s so few that have ever done it here on Earth. And, who did it really? Jesus? Yes, probably, but who else, who else? Can you count them on your hands, or are there hundreds or thousands or millions? How many are there in this world right now? Is there even one? Maybe, god bless that there would be at least one, some and hundreds and thousands more, until all of humanity is awakened in divine consciousness and awakened to their native knowing of eternal truth that is their natural state of being when they are not embodied.
You cannot act divinely with another without that brother soon recognizing the same within himself and thats why there is no guru, master-teacher-student relationship. If there is a true guru, the guru is known by the enlightenment of his students and associates.
John: what do you mean?
If those that are around you are not the best examples of consciousness awakening to the unlimited possibilities of self, then what kind of “low rent” guru are you?
John: I got you.
If somebody has to meditate with you for 20 years before they realize that they don’t have to meditate with you to be the eternal truth of themselves, then you have done started your service to humanity a little early: before you realized the truth of yourself and thats the first work that we all have and that is the realization of our own truth and so we look around and say: who’s interested in having a shared experience of that so that I can have someone to practice on, with what it is to be the living embodiment of my own truth: that which I am eternally, but that which I can’t quite remember exactly now... but am I open to that? Yes, I am. Good, bad, whatever it is, I don’t have any desire to hold myself back from any of it.
