I am dead

At some point you realize that your effort and your desire, is what is preventing you from being your truth, because you cannot in striving: bloom in divinity. 

Divinity just is and so when you are striving for divinity, look within and observe the self that is desperately trying to experience the divine. Pushing, pulling, thinking and considering: what is it that I can do that will bring the divine to me and bring me to the divine? 

There is nothing that you can do, not even surrender. The only thing that will bring the divine into your expression here is: nothing. No thoughts about it, no issues for it, no struggle to achieve, no longing. I am dead, dead to trying, dead to becoming, dead to striving and struggle and dead to my own disappointment of who I am here.

I am comfortable in my death, I welcome it as my release from not being that which I am. I don’t care about this anymore. I am done with trying to become what I wish to be and yet don’t know what it is. I am done with this, I am finished as a seeker, my seeking days are over and if I have not found what I have lost or am lost and not found: I care not, because I am dead to the me that I am, I don’t care any more and I don’t want anything at all. 

I am dead. That is my truth now, I am dead, and yet... I am alive in myself. 

I am dead to all that I have been, all that I was and all that I wished for. My life is over and yet my mind asks me a question: now what do I do? Nothing is what you do, you are dead with me: we have both failed in achieving our desires and manifesting the perfection of life. 

In your death you will find that it becomes you and that have found the life and love that you sought in life and did not find. Welcome death while you are still alive to enjoy it. Life everlasting is only enjoyed by he who is dead to his temporal self. In the world, not of it, you know.