Its time I started finding out some real answers.

I am tired of accessing divinity for a short time. only to fall back to polarized reality immediately with my pains and blockages activated and highlighted, taking me hours of processing, energy work or massage to bring back a tolerable level of relief. As a result of this:
I am not at peace
I am not happy
I am not graceful
I am not glorious
I am frustrated.

I have been on my spiritual path for half of my life now, 24 years and have tried everything that seemed promising and I am not free. I get an occasional hour of or weekend pass of freedom, but that only serves to make my normal existence more frustrating. The experiences improve only gradually and on top of all this, I still cannot consciously hold onto the truth of who and what I am, except in the peak of meditation, even though I have been willing to confront the darkest possible possibilities in order to experience the truth on the other side.

For 12 years now, the sensitive channels and psychics I have met with, have Identified my "true self" as any number of dark characters, from the greatest mass murders in history, to Satan, the creator of polarized reality, and the cause of the fall of consciousness of mankind. One mentioned that what the others were reading was merely a label, that was attached to my authentic energy in order to keep me in a state of avoiding who I am, as no one seems to consciously choose a identity of evil.

Beginning about 10 years ago, in order to access levels of higher consciousness. I began to have to take responsibility for these roles and Identities as if they were in fact true. As I took responsibility for the dark realities, I was able to then come through the other side, to the light of my soul where the truth of each of us exists. This light is blocked by either lies or guilt, that have to be passed through to get to the ultimate truth.

For the past 2 years I have had to repeatedly ascend to heaven in the role of Lucifer to be redeemed of my sins, a process that so far seems to be incomplete and so causes me to question the validity of my experience.

My first experience of Joy for all, as the operating reality of Heaven occurred 2 years ago. I was sitting in the park, in Santa Monica late at night, meditating on a chronic pain in my back, with the desire to gain some relief by accessing the cause of it.

The painful area opened up into a vortex of energy and I felt myself falling down through it, much as Alice in wonderland falling down the rabbit hole. After several minutes I stopped falling and heard a voice say, welcome to hell. I said hello, what do you do here? The voice said: I conquer and control my enemies. I asked, What does conquering and controlling your enemies do for you? He replied, It brings me peace. I said, I understand the desire for peace, what is your job or intention? He replied, to end the pain and suffering of the world. I said that sounds like a good purpose to me, how is that going? He replied, there is nothing but pain and suffering in the world.

I asked him, would you be willing to know what would be more effective, in relieving the pain and suffering of the world, than having the purpose of relieving the pain and suffering of the world? After reflecting for several minutes he said yes.

Would you be willing to receive the answer from all that is? Which he realized was a reference to God and after many calculations regarding the possibility of a trap and the possible consequences to himself he said yes. At the exact moment that he said yes, the answer came "The only thing that will relieve the pain and suffering of the world is having the purpose of Joy for all" He considered the answer, then accepted joy for all as the new purpose of his existence. At which point the experience ended and my consciousness was fully back at the park.

I then considered my experience and I realized that my purpose was similar to his previous stated purpose and that was to avoid pain and suffering myself, which seemed to do nothing but attract pain, suffering and dissatisfaction as the experience of my life and that for me to be happy I also had to choose Joy for all as the purpose of my life. which I then did.

Apparently I did not choose joy for all in all aspects of my being and at all levels of consciousness and unconsciousness, as my level of joy has gone up only to a degree that is still not satisfying and pain, barriers and limitation are still with me. So how do I truly have the purpose of joy for all to the degree that my pains, suffering, barriers and limitations are ended regardless of who or what I am or have been?

You have to stop identifying yourself as the ego, the body and the accumulated experiences of this lifetime, for starters. Realize that when you have problems and questions as to what you should do with your life you are not being your true self. to remedy this, you then have to assume the role of ego and body that you have identified with thereby trapping yourself in lower consciousness and sacrifice yourself upon the alter of God, at which point you wake up to your true self as God.

How do I keep God consciousness once I realize it? You repeat the sacrifice of the ego to the will of God, each time you realize that you have fallen back to a consciousness of separation and ego domination. You sacrifice your self as ego by allowing Gods will to be done, not yours. You then focus on relaxing into a merger with God, which dissolves the ego and wakes you up to the truth again. Its a repetitive process.

Why am I tired of it? Try it again, which means stop trying and allow God to act through you. You just relax and allow anything to happen.

Isn't there some Godly being that can help make it easier, faster and more permanent? Allow it to be so and see what happens. On the other side of absolute allowance is always your realization as God.

What do I get then? Any thing that you want.

Prove it. Or else what? You will stay in your state of polarized misery to spite yourself? OK God you win, take me and do with me whatever you wish. I willingly sacrifice my will and desires to you as my life as an ego sucks.

Don't cheat and try to be God as an ego, go all the way:
Allow anything
allow everything
allow All to be in charge.
Yes, it is getting better as you allow, allow more. How free do you wish to be? Allow more. Leave all, desire nothing.
Allow more - receive more freedom
Allow more - receive more freedom.

What about people who want to control me? Allow God, leave people who want to control you.

What about stability? Be stable in your freedom. If you allow all other people to be free you will always be able to create a reality and circumstances that satisfy you.

Allowance is the willingness to open up and receive, without resistance, reaction, alignment or agreement. All, flows through you without change. Allow your authentic energy to flow through your body, regardless of what labels and judgements that others have placed on it in an effort to dissuade you from being yourself.

Your problem stems from your blocking and avoidance of your own authentic energy. This happened because you bought into someone Else's judgement, a judgement that you were bad. You are now acting like a hermit crab, taking someone Else's house (duplicating their energy) and hoping that it will work for you in creating the life you want and it never will. Own your own energy and beingness, be true to your self. Allow that, that is you to flow continuously through your body. Allow your own authentic energy to flow around every molecule of you body and things will continually get easier for you.

Allow God to give you to open your heart to the love and understanding of all creation. Hold this in your consciousness until you feel the shift in your body indicating that you are fully willing to receive.

Receive the gift of the the love and understanding of all creation. Feel it in your heart first and then feel how it spreads through the rest of your body, relieving the pain that has had you so obsessed.

Allow the love of all creation to grow in your being, notice how it dissolves all fears, removes all pretense and makes the divine at home in your body.

The animal instincts of fight or flight are the primary cause of the decension into relative unconsciousness that passes for normal life on earth. Observe how the animal instincts are replaced with peace as the love for creation spreads through the body.

By the way, it does not matter what you may have or have not done as a being in polarized reality as all here can be faulted. The only relevant item is that you have returned home to the reality of conscious harmony and all are forgiven in the home of all creation.


Immanuall